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Writer's pictureMark & Steve

How Do I Regain Her Trust and How Do I Trust Her?


Two of the BIG questions we hear a LOT from recovering porn/sex addicts is: "How do I get her to trust me again?" and "How do I trust her?" In this episode Mark and Steve get raw and practical about the answers to these critical questions—


How do I regain her trust?

  • The basis for your spouse trusting you again involves YOU developing consistency in several areas of recovery—not just sobriety.

  • There is NO way to MAKE her trust you, so QUIT pressuring her! "Neediness" will NEVER develop trust!

  • Your wife needs you to be a SUPPORT in her healing—learn how.

  • Be accountable for YOUR role in her PAIN.

How do I trust her?

  • Validating your own pain and shame is a CRUCIAL first step.

  • You have to LET GO of the "shoulds" about how and when to trust.

  • Let go of any lingering responsibility for her recovery, trauma responses, future choices, etc.

  • In some respects, the LESS you need the relationship, the MORE you will be able to trust it.

  • Work on your own healing—knowing YOU will be OK regardless of what she decides, will allow YOU to show up in the relationship again.

  • Trust is a CHOICE. At the end of the day, only YOU can make that decision.



Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling


Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services


Wondering if your marriage can survive porn and sex addiction? This article will give you some hope—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/can-marriage-survive-porn


How can you "heal" your marriage relationship?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/how-to-mend-your-marriage


Want to learn more about HOW to break free from porn?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/overcome-porn-sex-addiction

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